Congleton Town Council’s White Ribbon Group hosted an event at the Town Hall for parents and carers of 10-16 year-olds, entitled ‘Growing Up Wired – supporting your child through adolescence in a complex world’.
The town council’s Chief Officer and White Ribbon Ambassador, David McGifford, welcomed around 50 delegates to the Bridestones Suite to hear from more Ambassadors, Cheshire Police, Visyon, and young people themselves about the many challenges facing youngsters, and how adults can help them to stay safe and thrive.
Chair of the Town Council’s Community Committee and White Ribbon Champion, Cllr Kay Wesley, introduced the evening, saying: “Some of the negative attitudes our children encounter are not new, but the difference is that now they are immersed in them 24/7 – at school, on the bus, in their bedroom at night, always present on their phones.
“Bad actors are using social media channels to exploit vulnerable young people, and this is why we have brought together experts to help us share experiences and explore ways to keep our youngsters safe and help them thrive.”
White Ribbon Ambassador Jonathan Dakin gave information about the levels of harassment and abuse, together with insights into sub-cultures which played a part in the recent shocking Netflix drama ‘Adolescence’, which had been seen by many of those present.
He described the impact of computer games and harmful influencers on both boys – to whom ‘incel’ culture and the ‘manosphere’ are promoted, and on girls – who receive narratives focused on the importance of looking perfect and body-image.
Cllr Richard Walton, Chair of the White Ribbon Group, pointed out that challenging these cultures is what White Ribbon is all about. It is about being kind and respectful to all, and emphasising that men and women, boys and girls are equal.
Congleton Sixth Form College students, Barney Mitcheson and Harriet Worthington, described some of the pressures they and their friends had been under growing up. Barney observed that the need to have a ‘perfect’ physique affects both boys and girls, and there is huge pressure on those who are made to feel they are not good enough. Bullying of the vulnerable now follows children home from school on their phones. In addition, behaviour in real life, in the playground, is adversely affected by what people see online.
Harriet agreed, and was particularly concerned about very violent videos freely circulating in school. In addition, she had taken on some boys in her class who professed to follow certain male ‘influencers’ and ‘hate feminists’. In response, Harriet gave a talk about feminism being about equality, and asked the boys why they hate the idea of equality.
Both the young people urged parents to share online experiences with their youngsters, and take a supportive approach, rather than judging, punishing or confiscating phones.
Some of the harmful content and influences young people might be exposed to were presented by PC Andy Cornall, Youth Engagement Officer for Cheshire Police. He advised on how to avoid or combat these, with built-in app safeguards and by setting clear boundaries like ‘no phones in the bedroom’. PC Cornall highlighted some excellent support resources including the ‘smartphone-free childhood’ charity that encourages children to spend time doing ‘kid-stuff’, including occasionally being ‘bored’ and all the creativity and fun that this can initiate.
Lynne Cunliffe and Gary Wildgoose of Visyon explained how some negative cultures in social media can affect young people’s self esteem and mental health in general, and used workshop examples to discuss how to address situations that may arise, emphasising the need to have a dialogue with children about what they are seeing and experiencing, and sharing apps, content and other experiences with them.
Finally, White Ribbon Ambassador Mike Wesley explained some of the ‘real world’ challenges, including the fact that school surveys have shown that students, especially girls, do not feel safe on the streets of Congleton. He shared the ‘active bystander’ training that the group uses as part of its school presentations.
The feedback on the evening was very positive, with many parents welcoming the chance to discuss these matters with both the experts and with each other. The groups had stalls with leaflets and other materials that delegates took away at the end of the evening, and several made their White Ribbon promise.
The Town Council has sent a follow-up pack of resources to the delegates, including a recording of the session. If any readers would like to receive this, please email info@congleton-tc.gov.uk with the subject line ‘Growing Up Wired Resources’.
